Castle in the Clouds

It's been just a little over five months now since I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer.  In some ways, it feels so much longer.  It feels like an endless stretch of days without his input or guidance, his problem-solving skills, his companionship. I miss his laugh. His hugs. I miss watching television together, camping trips, and family vacations. I miss our talks about work, the kids, the grandbaby, and life in general. I miss him. I miss our life together.  Strangely, I cry less now.  But it takes longer to fall asleep.  There's a part of me that feels bad that I don't cry as often or as easily as I first did.  My tears seem to be held in reserve, appearing only when I stop to think about how much he is missing.  The main triggers are our boys and grandson. When I stop and think about how much Ken would have loved being able to be here and take part in their lives, my control lapses. It always makes me recall those heartwrenching conversations we ...

So, I was totally inspired by this post , and as a result I decided to write up my own reading rules or habits. As Jeanette mentions, these reading rules really do seem to reveal a little something about my personality as well as my habits. Habit #1:  If I love the book and have to have a copy on my keeper shelf, I will not loan it out to just anyone.  This was not always the case.  I used to loan out books all the time.  This changed, though, when the books I loaned out failed to make their way back to me, leaving me no choice but to purchase the book again.   Habit #2:  If I loan someone a book, I try to be very clear about whether or not I want it back.  If I say I don't, I don't. However, this also means I think the book was less than worthy of my keeper shelf.   Habit #3: I tend to read multiple books at a time.  For instance, at this moment in time, I am in the middle of four books.  It's ridiculous, but true. ...

I'm not sure what the consensus is on the definitions of geek versus nerd, but I perceive a difference.  It's a slight difference, though, because the nerdy often leads to geeky, or perhaps it's the other way around.  My love of reading would be considered nerdy, right?  Yet, when that love of reading transitions into a fascination with RPGs on my PS3 system, I think that takes me over into the realms of geekdom.  My fascination with history and science is nerdy, yet when those interests heavily influence my writing and result in fantasy or science fiction novels, that's geeky, too, right? So, yes, I'm a bit of a nerd.  I put a lot of time and effort into my schoolwork.  I add documentaries in my Netflix queue (still hoping Waiting for  "Superman" shows up soon).  I seek out articles discussing scientific discoveries.  I add the occasional history or how-to to my bookshelves for research purposes. Yet, I believe the geek in me far outweig...

Okay, so I have a story to tell you, but I really want the visual aids. Although, I may change my mind after I actually have a chance to look at the pictures. We'll see. So, in the interest of giving my readers something to read, here's a meme. As an English major, I'm thinking I should have better answers, but whatever. 1) What author do you own the most books by? Anne McCaffery, Johanna Linsdsey, Dean Koontz, Melanie Rawn, Terry Goodkind, Nora Roberts, and Jacqueline Carey. 2) What book do you own the most copies of? The dictionary. 3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions? Only a little. 4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with? Collan from Rawn's Exiles or James Mallory from Lindsey's Mallory family series. 5) What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)? Oh, my. I tend to re-read a lot of books. Let's see...I guess...

In 2002 I started this blog with the intention of talking about my writing. At the time I was working on Dragonborn: The Beginning. It was my first attempt at writing fantasy. Things I remember about that first attempt: I really wanted to tell the child's story, but because I didn't know enough about the world she lived in, I decided I'd better tell her parents' stories first. That way, when I finally got around to writing the story I really wanted to tell, I'd know the political landscape and how she came by her unique magic. It was fun to write. It seemed to write itself. My first online critique partner loved it. In fact, he raved. I sent it to Tor with hardly any polishing and still managed to get a couple of hand-written notes on the rejection letter. I learned a lot from that first fantasy novel. But after that rejection - the only one I ever risked - I put it away and moved on to something else. Most of what came after that first fantasy novel were more ...

Not sure which gift I love more: the PS3 from last year or the laptop computer from this Christmas. It's a mighty close race. Hubby did good with both. And, because I really don't have any writing related news to share, I thought I'd give you the top five reasons why I love that little piece of insanely-priced equipment. Reason #5. Media Center. It's not an exclusive capability to the PlayStation 3 platform, but it's a nice little perk. Of course, since I only have the 60K version (I think), I'm worried about filling up the harddrive space, so I try to limit my uploads. Right now, the majority of the pictures and music are meant to be enjoyed during the holiday season. The Christmases Past slideshow gets me in the heart every time. My, how my kiddos have grown! Reason #4 NetFlix Instant Queue on demand. While the movies aren't the newest, there's enough variety there to provide hours and hours and hours of entertainment. All I have to do is in...

I was tagged by Sharla of This Thing Called Life! for a relatively simple photo meme. The object here is to open the 6 th picture in the 6 th folder and tell your audience about that picture. So..without cheating...here is my 6 th photo in my 6 th folder (home photo shoots). Oh, my. I haven't looked in this folder in a very long time. You can see this picture was taken in 2004, which means my boys were 7 & 4 at the time. They look so little. If you look close, Gage still has toddler hands! This picture is actually a very fitting representation of my little guys. Gage is a temperamental little thing - always has been, probably always will be. KC, on the other hand, is more laid back and, at times, downright goofy. On this particular day I attempted my first "photo shoot" with the boys. Trying to take advantage of what little natural light there is in my dining room, I set up a couple of chairs and draped some cloth. Then the real fun began. I took pictures of th...

Supposedly if you’ve seen more than 85 of the 239 films on this list, you have no life. Copy this list, then put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, and add them up. I tag anyone who wants to play. Have fun. (x) Rocky Horror Picture Show (x) Grease (x) Pirates of the Caribbean (x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest () Boondock Saints (x) Fight Club (x) Starsky and Hutch (x) Neverending Story (x)Blazing Saddles (x) Airplane Total: 9 (x) The Princess Bride (x) Anchorman () Napoleon Dynamite (x) Labyrinth (x) Saw () Saw II (x) White Noise (x) White Oleander (x) Anger Management (x) 50 First Dates (x) The Princess Diaries () The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement Total so far: 18 (x) Scream () Scream 2 () Scream 3 () Scary Movie () Scary Movie 2 () Scary Movie 3 () Scary Movie 4 (x) American Pie (x) American Pie 2 (x) American Wedding () American Pie Band Camp Total so far: 22 (x) Harry Potter 1 (x) Harry Potter 2 (x) Harry Potter 3 (x) Harry Potter 4 (x) Resident Evil 1 () Resi...

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. Well let’s see. 1) Look at the list and indicate those you have read (I used orange text). 2) Italicize those you intend to read. 1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien 3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte 4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee 6 The Bible (parts of it) 7 Wuthering Heights 8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell 9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman 10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens 11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott 12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy 13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller 14 Complete Works of Shakespeare 15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier 16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien 17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks 18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger 19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger 20 Middlemarch - George Eliot 21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell 22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald 23 B...

Four jobs I’ve had in my life: 1. Babysitting - I did this throughout most of my teens. 2. Pizza Girl - I can still smell the cheese and hear the radio playing Love in an Elevator... 3. Receptionist - at a few places, some I'd rather not remember! 4. Administrative Assistant / Student / Mom/ Wife = The current job(s) Four movies I’ve watched more than once: 1. Star Wars (4-6) 2. Tombstone 3. Dirty Dancing 4. A Knight's Tale Four favorite places I’ve lived: 1. My childhood home in the middle of nowhere 2. The first house my husband and I bought just because it was ours and we were together! Couldn't wait to move to a better neighborhood, though. 3. My current home int he middle of nowhere 4. Four favorite places I’ve travelled: 1. Bahamas 2. Maine 3. Las Vegas 4. Colorado Four places I most want to see before I die: 1. Egypt 2. British Isles 3. Greece 4. Italy Four of my favorite foods: 1. chocolate 2. ice cream 3. lasagne 4. goulash (my hubby refers to it as chili-lash)

http://www.willwriteforchocolate.com/comic/103.html

So, I think I've mentioned that I'm applying to Grad School, right? Well, if I haven't, considered yourself notified. I'm applying. I've turned in everything but my letter of intent. Oh, I've written said letter and asked for feedback, but my proof reader has yet to respond to the rough draft I sent her. This makes me think it sucks. Okay. So I could probably write something a bit more engaging. But what do you go for? Engaging or professional? How much personal do you mix in? Should I mention things like I'm working on a novel right now? Should I tell them I've been honored to receive private mentoring from a published author? Should I toot my horn and admit I've just been nominated for Phi Alpha Theta by one of my professors? Seriously , I put none of that in there. It all felt so pretentious. Ug . I hate writing about myself. It's awkward.

I did it. I paid my monthly dues to join kickboxing. That $50 check entitles me to approximately 20 hours of sweat and tears. Can I just say it was damned hard writing that check. There's so much I can do with $50! I could buy six or seven books. I could build up my camera fund that much faster. I could buy a couple of pairs of jeans ( desparately needed ). I could buy a replacement pair of snow pants ( thanks to my son who lost them on the school bus ). Yet, I spent it on exercise. If I don't start losing a lot of weight, I am going to get pissed. Or at least a pant size, dammit. Okay, really, I just want to look decent in my bathing suit. That boat trip isn't getting any further away. Quite the opposite. Which is why I paid. Stupid bathing suits.

The Recipe For Krista 3 parts Playfulness 2 parts Uniqueness 1 part Shrewdness Splash of Happiness Limit yourself to one serving. This cocktail is strong! What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

My brother often tells me to "mind your bidness ", which is his not-quite-so-endearing way of telling me to "butt out". As the big sister I find this a very difficult thing to do, especially when I see someone I love hurting. Biting my tongue is hard. SO HARD. Seriously, sometimes I think it might be less painful to amputate an appendage. Well, maybe just a small digit. I'd hate to lose an arm or a leg... The bottom line is I do try to keep my mouth shut because I don't want to make anyone mad. I don't want to hurt their feelings. I don't want to make them uncomfortable. I just want to protect. I want to comfort. I want to give hope and encouragement. And the occasional smack upside the head or kick in the ass, whichever would be more appropriate. Sometimes, though, I know silence is appropriate. Doesn't mean I'm always able to follow my better instincts. Sometimes I just can't seem to help myself!

I want my scrapbooking room to look like this . I am green with envy.

Joely put this info into a Thursday Thirteen post, but I'm too lazy to do that. So here are the results on my maiden name (first, middle, and last) as told by this site . Interesting. I wonder if the results will be the same tomorrow. I know they were completely different and totally inaccurate with my married name (first, middle, and last). What your first name means: Variant of Christiana. Follower of Christ. Your number is: 3 The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living. The expression or destiny for #3: An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are...

I think I know why traffic here is so slow. I'm not controversial. I don't post or, more importantly, argue my personal views on politics, religion, or anything else that could remotely be considered a "hot topic". I don't post anything revealing. Not about me and not about my family. I shy away from mentioning work. I avoid bad-mouthing people if I can. I rarely rant. What I do post are updates on activities concerning me, the boys, and my hubby. This, my friends, amounts to the ultimate in boring blogs. Damn, that sucks. But do I want to write entries that will stir up more than casual interest? Do I want to risk the flame wars and name-calling? Do I have the energy to not only present my views but to fight to support them? Here in blogland I'm not terribly concerned with swaying popular opinion, or defending my buying into popular opinion if that's the case. Oddly enough, in person, I'm very open. Some people might even consider me out-spoken. More ...

It is okay to admit to feeling envy? Wanting what someone else has isn't an aberration in human nature. I'd say just the opposite. I'd say its normal. Perfectly normal in fact. Oh, be quiet. You know you're guilty of this particular little sin, too. Don't even try to deny it! So, here's my list of envies... 1. The stay-at-home mom who gets to spend the early years at home with her babies. 2. The mom who works and doesn't feel any guilt. 3. Stay-at-home authors, aspiring or published. 4. The friend who actually finishes his or her novel. I envy your ability to find or make the time for your writing. Those are the biggies. Those are the most frequent envies I suffer. Especially number 3. That one seems to follow me around 7 days a week. Oh sure, there are a multitude of smaller envies I feel. Like when I don't have the cash (or time, as the case may be) to stop at Starbucks and grab a Chai, but that person over there has both the time and money! Envy! Or.....

Your Mouth is a Little Big You're not a total tell all, but you don't hide who you are either. You've struck a good balance between discretion and sharing. People know you fairly well, at least on a superficial level. But you save your most revealing secrets for your best friend... or no one! Do You Have a Big Mouth?