It Should Be Our 28th Wedding Anniversary

I had to do the math twice. Probably because I'm really bad at math.

Today should have been our 28th wedding anniversary. We only made it to 26, which is so impressive when you consider how many marriages end in divorce.  So, because I have no doubt in my mind we would have been married still today had cancer not taken him, I want to honor our special day. So, here's a Happy Should Have Been Anniversary to my hubby in heaven. 

Today, as I recognize what should have been and think about what was, I figured I'd share not only some lovely pictures from our wedding day but I'd explain how this widow plans to move through October 15, 2022. 

In just a little bit, I'm joining another Millington widow at a Widow's Luncheon, which is being hosted by the Amish Church in Millington. I'm a bit nervous, to be honest, because I don't know what to expect. On my best days, I consider myself a bad Christian but most of the time I think I actually lean toward being an agnostic.  (I can hear my mom praying for me as she reads this.)  Faith is complicated. I've been an attendee at many different types of churches and I've even been willingly baptized as an adult but faith is not something I find easy to reconcile with the world around me. So, leaving that entire discussion for another day, going to an Amish church with a bunch of other grieving widows is an emotional and mental labyrinth for me. Still, I want to go. I want to share this unique journey with others on the same path and this luncheon seems like it might be good for me and the woman who invited me, as well as those I have yet to meet. 

Later today, I am cleaning up dog poop off my front porch. Life is interesting that way. Maybe I'll do some dishes and laundry, too.  Or maybe I'll try to get the slider in my motorhome cleared out for the repairs that will be done on the flooring. My mood when I return from the luncheon will likely influence my decisions. I might just need time to write in my journal. Who knows.

Finally, I will go have fun with my friends and family later tonight. Good friends of mine are hosting a Halloween party. I plan on going as a modern-day Medusa - pictures later.  I'm going to drink a few drinks, play some games, and laugh. Laughter is so good for the soul, so I do not feel bad about going out and having fun on what could be a sad, sappy day if I let it. 

I'm not going to let it be a sad day. It's not how I choose to celebrate what Ken and I built together. He was responsible for much of the love in my life.  He is the reason I have these friends. He was my social butterfly and he wouldn't want me sitting at home moping and, frankly, I don't feel like moping. I think that is a sign of healing, at least I hope it is.