It's Hard Being a Parent

The early days.

It's easy to look on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat Stories and think that life is nothing but rainbows and sunshine.  But, you know what?  Rainbows are only possible because there's been a bit of rain.  We all have rain in our lives, those moments when we are sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, or hurt.

Today is one of those days. 

I am sad.  My heart is heavy with disappointment. 

My oldest boy finally had a job that might have turned out to be more than just a part-time gig with crappy hours and low wages.  This job had potential on a small, modest scale.  It would have taken him time to advance and earn a living wage, but the possibility existed.  

Now it does not. 

He found out today that they were letting him go.  Only, no one there had the decency or professionalism to tell him.  He had to call and inquire because they weren't scheduling him any hours. Two weeks passed before someone had the decency to let him know he should be looking for a new job.

Maybe this job didn't have the potential I thought it did.  Maybe their lack of professionalism is something worth considering....bullet dodged, perhaps?

Now, I'm not going to tell you he didn't do something that earned him this non-confrontational dismissal.  He didn't handle a situation with another co-worker very well.  He handled it all sorts of wrong even if his heart was in the right place.  On the bright side, I think he's learned a valuable lesson in what-not-to-do at the workplace.  He also learned that sometimes doing the right thing is more complicated than it may first seem.  His instincts to protect that girl are commendable.  Next time, though, he knows he should simply remove her from the abuser's presence and take her directly to management to make a report.  Confrontation was not the answer.

I know today's little hiccup is really just that...a hiccup.  A small unpleasantness that will soon pass.  Yet, it's hard not to take these little set-backs personally, to wonder if your child's failures and hardships are somehow directly tied to you and your parenting choices. 

Then I remember that children are not an extension of ourselves but their own autonomous beings.  They get to make their own mistakes.  Decisions and actions have consequences that have nothing to do with whether or not I let them play too many video games, didn't give them enough chores, or spoiled them when perhaps I shouldn't have.

Sometimes parenting can feel like you're standing in a downpour without an umbrella or a pair of rubber boots to ward against the unpleasant deluge.  Today is one of those days.  I'm sad.  Disappointed.

Luckily, the sun will shine again and my boy will be just fine.  Lessons have been learned.