Re-assessing and Re-evaluating

Tragedy has a way of forcing you to look at your life with a critical eye.  It makes you evaluate between what you think is important from what is truly important.  In the wake of Sean's death, I have found myself doing that very thing. 

Although this list is by no means comprehensive, it is a start.  These are the things I am going to make every effort to do with regularity and enthusiasm. 

• Spend more quality time with Ken and the boys.  As a family we often share the same physical space, but we're continually distracted by our individual interests.  Ken is never without his phone or laptop, the boys are rarely without their computers or PSPs, and I always have a book or computer in my hands.  While I can't see any of us giving up these things, I don't think it's unreasonable for us to designate one night a week where we spend time doing a family activity like playing a board game or something.

• Record the memories we make.  There are couple of different ways I'm going to go about this.  The most obvious way for me is to use this blog just as I have in the past.  Yet, there are some things that are too private for such a public platform, so I'm going to make an effort to start using some of the journals I've purchased over the years.  Life is ugly and messy and heartbreaking.  Those bits and pieces - painful as they may be - are going to start finding their way out to the page. 

• Take more snapshots of our everyday life. For those who know how often I have a camera in hand, this may seem an impossible task because I already take a lot of pictures.  Some may even think too many.  Yet, the truth is a lot of my pictures focus on events.  It's time to shift my focus from sports photography to capture the moments that make us who we are. 

• As a kind of continuation on the picture theme, I need to be in more pictures.  I need to hand the camera over to my husband and children or even complete strangers if necessary. 

• Create more scrapbooks.  (This goes back to the idea of recording the memories we make..).  I need to scrapbook the photos when the memories are still fresh.  Not wait until the details are indistinct and irretrievable from my miserable memory. 

• Return to the creative writing I love so much.  I spend a lot of time on homework, which I know is important, but it's at the expense of my creativity.  To help keep me motivated here, I think it's time for me to become an active member in one of the two creative writing groups I've been a member of in the past. 

Like I said, this list is not complete and likely leaves out some important facets of my life.  But it's a start.