May 3, 2008

Remembering

Kind of in a funky mood tonight.

After playing FF XII for a couple hours tonight, I headed down to the basement to do some laundry. The kids have soccer in the morning and I hadn't seen either jersey since their last game. After searching high and low for them, I found one in a clean clothes basket and one at the bottom of a dirty clothes pile.

Once my Soccer mom duties were attended to I could focus my unenthusiastic attention elsewhere. I say unenthusiastic because blah pretty sums up exactly how I've felt all week. Tonight has been no exception.

Blah.

So, scrapbooks. My laundry area is located right next to my "scrapbooking room" in the basement and, while I didn't feel like scrapbooking, I was feeling a bit nastalgic. Pulling one album after another off the shelf, I sat down and travelled back in time. I revisisted weddings of good friends and family. The journaling, written years ago when the memories were still fresh, reminded me of Jessica's panic when I showed up right before the wedding looking pretty much like I had just rolled out of bed. Oh, how she wanted to throttle me!

Next came my brothers' and sisters' weddings. So many memories there. So many stories I didn't capture because, believe it or not, its almost impossible to capture such things with mere words. What really amazed me, though, was how young we were all were. Babies! And speaking of babies, more than one of those weddings showcased pictures of my parents' first few grandchildren. My first born, his face still round with baby fat, had been the ring bearer in two of those weddings. How tiny he was!

There's one wedding missing from the album, but I plan on fixing that soon. Although they've been married for a few years now, I finally ordered my baby brother and his wife's wedding pictures through SnapFish. Once I get their wedding photos in the book, I'll be caught up on weddings. What an accomplishment!

The next album didn't have a theme really. It was a hodgepodge of random events or everyday moments. Pictures of my boys blowing bubbles off the back porch. Camping and fishing trips. Father's Day in the park when our youngest still sat strapped into a carseat while his big brother swung from the monkey bars. A collection of family snapshots.

Looking through those albums made me smile and, in some instances, it hurt my heart. So much has changed over the years. Most of it for the better. We have so many things to be grateful for and so very few things to regret. Yet, there are regrets. Despite all that's happened, I miss my step-mom; I miss who she was when she still loved my dad and found pleasure in being his wife. Then there's the friends we see once or twice a year now who, once upon a time, had more or less lived with us every weekend when we were first married. The loss of beloved grandparents who influenced our formative years.

So many memories!

I just hope I remember to keep journaling whenever I sit down to scrapbook because tonight only reinforced that the words mean just as much as the pictures. The two perfectly compliment each other. They capture more together than either could separately.