Getting Feedback

For my writing class we're supposed to write a short story in 16 pages or less. My rough is currently 15 pages. The only problem with it is that it reads more like a chapter than a short story. I need to figure out how to rework it. I suppose printing it off and grabbing a red pen would be helpful.

Know what else would be helpful? Feedback from my critique group. Only one person has actually provided comments so far.